


Take It While You Still Can

by Junebug (Current521)



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, background sam/charlotte, background ted/charlotte, tw drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:54:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24041671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Junebug
Summary: Zoey loves Sam. He's a bad person and a worse husband, but he's her best chance, and she wants to take it. And Charlotte is too damn nice and deserves so much better than Sam.
Relationships: Sam/Zoey (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh yeah, I have Feelings™ about Zoey, I love her, this is a wild ride and I'm sorry

The first time he'd kissed her, Sam had said he was married, and Zoey said she didn't care. Now, many times later, she regretted that; she did care, very much so, she just didn't mind.

She waited for Sam outside Beanie’s after her shift. He’d promised he’d come pick her up, and he kept his promises. Usually. To her, at least; she knew that wasn’t the case with Charlotte.

He snuck up behind her. “Excuse me, miss, I’ve got a warrant to inspect the junk in your trunk.”

Zoey rolled her eyes, but she smiled a little to herself. “Sam, you’re such a fucking asshole.” He really was; she was never sure why she put up with him. Then, because she knew it would make him happy, she added, “But that uniform is so fucking sexy,” before she kissed him.

He laughed into the kiss, sliding a hand under her skirt. She was happy to let him, but she was also not stupid; making out with a married man in public wasn’t smart. She didn’t push him away.

He pulled away after a few minutes. “Charlotte isn’t home.”

Zoey knew what that meant. “Good.” She smiled. “I don’t have plans.”

“Come on.” Sam pulled her to the car. And yeah, Zoey was entirely aware that she shouldn’t let him feel her up in the car, but she also didn’t want to stop him. And not just because his hand between her legs made it hard to think, but because he was the only one she ever got this with. And maybe he shouldn’t be, but it  _ was _ hard to think with his hand between her legs, and she didn’t want to anyway.

Sam was quick to get her into the apartment and even quicker to push her up against the wall in the hallway. They usually fucked in the bed, but Zoey had never minded that they didn’t start there, so she lifted herself up to wrap her legs around his waist. She’d never liked making out before Sam. There were a lot of things she’d never liked before Sam, which was an issue, because Sam was 35 and married, and Zoey was just barely 20 (and lying to him about it) and a damn drama student at a community college. He wasn’t someone she could stay with, but that was easy to forget with his tongue between her teeth.

Sam wasn’t a talker. Zoey was, but she normally didn’t mind shutting up for him. But sometimes — sometimes like that day — she had stuff she needed to say. “Sam?” She looked over at him, next to her in bed. He wasn’t smiling.

“What’s up?”

“I lied to you.”

“About?”

“My age. I’m not 23.”

That caught his attention. “Zoey, how old are you?”

“I’m 20, relax.” She looked at the ceiling. “Also, I’m in love with you.” She hadn’t quite meant to say it so casually, but Sam was always casual.

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that the best you can do?”

“Charlotte—”

“Is screwing someone else.” Zoey sat up so that she could look down at Sam. “As are you. Why not just get a divorce?”

“And what, date a college kid?” He scoffed.

“Sure.” She pulled her knees to her chest, trying not to show how much the dismissal hurt. “I’d like that.”

“I’m sure you would.” Sam sat up. “I love Charlotte.”

“Then why am I here?” Zoey got out of bed. “Honest, Sam, I’m sick of your shit. You’re married and that’s fine, but make up your mind. Why am I here?”

“Because she isn't.” He stared at her. “That’s all. You know that.”

“I know, but…” Zoey sighed. “Can you blame me for wishing I was special?”

“You knew what you went into, Zoey.”

“I know!” She began getting dressed. “I’m going home.”

“You want a ride?”

“No thanks.” She looked back over her shoulder. “I’m off all weekend.” She left before hearing his reply.


	2. Chapter 2

Zoey knew Sam was an asshole, knew he was always going to be shitty to her and Charlotte both, but that didn’t stop her from making bad decisions. Like having stolen Charlotte’s number out of his phone months ago, just in case. She’d never used it, but leaving Sam’s apartment after a conversation like that, she considered it.

“Hi, this is Charlotte?” Her voice was timid, soft, questioning.

“Hi, uh, my name’s Zoey, uh… I know Sam.” She suddenly didn’t know what to say.  _ Hi, I’m screwing your husband. _   
“Okay?”

“So uhh… There’s no easy way to say this, but you’re cheating on Sam.” Silence. “And he’s cheating on you.”

“Wait what? How do you know?” Charlotte sounded… Not hurt, exactly, just negatively surprised.

Zoey sighed. “‘Cause I’ve been sleeping with him. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m kind of not, but you might wanna change the sheets in your bed if it’s still the blue ones tonight. If you even care. But you should leave him.”

“I love him.”

“So? What about that other guy you’re screwing?”

“I…”

“Exactly. And your husband’s an asshole. You’re better off without him.”

“You just want him for yourself.” There was no confidence, no accusation; just a rehearsed line. Zoey could recognise a bad actor from a mile away.

“I’m not sure I’d even stay with him.” It was a lie; she would, if he’d have her. “He’s nice to fuck, I’ll give you that, but I wouldn’t want him as my boyfriend.” Yes she would. “Plus, he’s what, 35, I should find someone my own age.” That part was probably true. “Anyway, sorry I called, but seriously, you should leave him, he’s a dick.”

“I love him.” Another rehearsed line. “Goodbye Zoey.”

“Goodbye Charlotte.”

Zoey wouldn’t be surprised if Charlotte blocked her number. She also wouldn’t be surprised if she heard from her again. She would be surprised if she didn’t have a hangover the next day.

She did have a hangover, and she did  _ not _ want to listen to Emma while having it, but that was what work was, because it was Saturday, and Zoey preferred to work weekends so it didn’t interfere with class.

Charlotte came in while she was working. Of course she did; Zoey had seen pictures of her several times, in hers and Sam’s apartment. She ordered her coffee and paid, smiling slightly. She was pretty, Zoey thought, extremely so, and she could see why Sam had fallen in love with her, but she didn’t know why she put up with him. “Thanks for the tip about the sheets,” she whispered when she was waiting for her credit card to process.

“You’re welcome,” Zoey whispered back.

Charlotte smiled at her. “I’m not gonna be home this weekend. If you… I don’t care.”

“You do care,” Zoey replied, thinking of her feelings about Sam being married. “You just don’t mind.”

“You’re right.” Charlotte’s smile widened. “I don’t mind.”

“Good.” Zoey laughed a little, because the situation was absurd. But also, there wasn’t a line, and Charlotte was nice, and it wasn’t  _ really _ her fault that she was married to Sam, and if Zoey could be friends with her, maybe she could understand it. And either get Charlotte to get a divorce, or get over Sam for herself. “So, what are your plans this weekend?"

“I’m spending it with a friend. A— Well, you know how it is, I’m sure.”

“I know.” Zoey nodded. “I hope you enjoy your weekend, then.”

“Zoey!” Nora’s voice was behind her. “You’re holding up this customer.”

“Oh no, there was just an issue with the card machine.” Charlotte smiled at Nora. “Zoey was being perfectly lovely, it’s all fixed now.” She took her coffee. “Thanks for all your help Zoey, I’ll see you around.”

“See you.” She smiled and mouthed a  _ thank you _ before turning back to Nora. “Sorry, yeah, I think the internet cut out for a moment.”

“Ah fuck,” Nora grumbled. “Again? I’ll go take a look, just try to keep it working.”

“I will.” Zoey turned back to her work, wondering if Sam was going to call her.


	3. Chapter 3

Zoey wondered, sometimes, what Charlotte knew. She knew about her, knew about Sam bringing her home. She could probably guess at the way Zoey tended to be on her knees in the living room, Sam sitting on the couch in front of her. She probably didn’t know how high he was, or how Zoey would eventually give up on getting him off and go sit in his lap instead, taking whatever he was smoking from him and getting herself equally high before he fucked her on the living room floor.

Sam insisted, when she asked, that he wasn’t an addict, and Zoey understood better than anyone the allure of party drugs, but she worried. Because mostly he just brought it out and pretended it was a gift for her, but she also sometimes showed up when he was already high. Those were the bad days, because on those days, she rarely made it to her knees, let alone the bed. And she didn’t mind, she didn’t, it was just that Sam had a tendency to talk more about Charlotte on those days, and no matter how high Zoey got with him, she couldn’t let go of the thought of the sweet, pretty woman she’d met at Beanie’s coming home and finding them. Finding  _ her _ , sure, but finding Sam high off his ass and probably too drunk to fuck, when Zoey was pretty sure Charlotte didn’t know about the drugs, that was awful. Because sure, Zoey hated that Sam was married, but Charlotte was  _ nice _ damn it, and she didn’t deserve to find out like that.

So Zoey texted Charlotte after leaving Sam Sunday morning, and asked if they could meet up. To her surprise, Charlotte answered. To her surprise, she said yes.

They ended up settling on going to Beanie’s together, because it feels like neutral ground, which is how Zoey ended up sitting in a corner booth at her job the one Sunday she wasn’t working, waiting for Charlotte.

Charlotte slid into the booth with a cup of coffee. “Hi Zoey.”

“Hi Charlotte.” It occurred to Zoey, again, that she should probably plan those conversations better than she did. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright. How are you?”

“Uh, tired. Hungover.”

That elicited a frown from Charlotte. “Sam drinks with you?”

“That’s uhh, that’s sort of the thing.” No better way than just spitting it out, Zoey figured. “It isn’t just alcohol. I don’t know how much you know, but Sam takes drugs.”

“Oh.” Charlotte looked into her coffee. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Does he hit you too?”

“No, okay Charlotte, back up, what the  _ fuck _ ?” Zoey thought she knew Sam well. She’d never known him to be violent. “He’s  _ hit _ you?”

“Yeah.” Charlotte shrugged. “Does it really surprise you that much?”

Zoey thought about it. Sam was  _ aggressive _ , sure, and he was rough with her, sometimes too much so, but he stopped when she asked him to. And he’d never hit her when he was angry. “Yeah, I think it does. He’s a dick, and he’s aggressive, but he’s never been violent. Not to me.”

“I’m happy for you.” Charlotte smiled, and it was so genuine, Zoey almost wanted to give her a hug. “You seem like a good kid.”

“You seem like a nice woman.” Zoey smiled back. “I don’t know why you stay with him.”

“Why do you?”

“I don't know. Because I keep hoping."

Charlotte reached across the table to put a hand over Zoey's. It was odd, but also quite nice. "I do too. He's a good man."

"No he isn't." Zoey met Charlotte's eyes and smiled. "He isn't, Charlotte. Just 'cause he doesn't hit me doesn't mean he's nice. He's a dick, and he's cheating on you. What about this other person you're seeing? You'd be happier."

"Ted? Oh no, he's not, he's just… He's just in it for the sex." She waved her free hand. "He's not into me."

"I said the same thing about Sam for a long time." Zoey looked at their hands. "I'm in love with him."

"You poor thing." Charlotte laughed a little. "I am too. But I don't know who I am without Sam, you're young enough to figure it out. You should.”

“You’re probably right. But I don’t want to.”

“He’s like that.” Something in Charlotte’s face turned bitter. “He makes you think there’s no one else in the universe for you.” She paused. “He makes you think there’s no one else in the universe for him, either.” And that was when the bitterness entered her voice, too.

“I’m sorry.” Zoey squeezed her hand. “If it helps… I asked him to leave you. Of course I did. He won’t, he loves you.”

“Then why’s he with you?”

“I asked that too. Because you’re not there. I don’t know if that was true or just to make me feel worse.”

“How long have you been with him?”

“A year. A little longer than that, probably.”

“Oh.”

“What?”

“I thought I cheated first. But it’s only been four months.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” Charlotte smiled. "Makes it easier to be mad at him. But Zoey… How old are you?"

"23." It was a habit. "No, that's a lie, I'm 20."

"And Sam gets high around you?"

"With me." Zoey shrugged. "I don't know if he was using before he met me, but I was. That’s not— That particular thing is not a mistake on his part, not really. I mean, he  _ gets _ me stuff, and I’m probably using more than I used to, but that was bound to happen anyway, and this way at least I’m not broke or on the streets.” So talking about being an addict while in a public place was definitely not smart, but half the other employees at Beanie’s — Nora included — bought off of her, so she wasn’t too concerned. “I’m sorry, he’s your husband, this must be weird.”

“No, it’s fine. Good to know. Do you— I haven’t noticed him spending money, do you know—”

“Oh, he steals from the evidence locker at work.” Zoey shrugged again. “I did say he’s not a good person.”

“I guess you did.” Charlotte smiled. “And… Thank you. I should get home to Sam.”

“Probably,” Zoey agreed. “I should go sleep off this hangover.”

“Thanks for calling, Zoey, I’ll…” Charlotte stood up. “I’ll see you around.”

“See ya.”

Zoey sat for a while, thinking it over, but she did go home eventually.


	4. Chapter 4

Two weeks later, Zoey met Ted. She’d seen him several times in Beanie’s, she figured he worked close by, but Charlotte came in with him and introduced him, and Zoey knew. She could see the way he looked at her, he was in love with her, and she could use that. So the next day when he came in alone, she messed up his order to hold him up a moment. “So sorry,” she said while waiting for the machine to clear. “By the way, I’m sleeping with Sam, do you wanna help make him and Charlotte get a divorce?”

“Why the  _ fuck _ would I do that?”

Zoey shrugged as the machine cleared and she could type in his order. “Because you’re in love with her. So I guess you’re the one she’s sleeping with, so I guess I’m not alone in getting something good out of that divorce. I mean, that’s assuming Sam would stay with me, which he probably wouldn’t, but you know, I’ll take that chance.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“So?”

He shook his head. “Why is Sam sleeping with a college kid? You know how old he is, right?”  


“Yeah, I know, that’s a question for Sam, not me.” Zoey handed over his coffee. “But are you in?”

Ted put his coffee back down. “Give me your number, we’ll see.” He winked.

Zoey shook his head, but she had no qualms about giving out her number, so she wrote it on his cup and handed it to him again, customer service smile back on her face. “Enjoy your day.”

“Thanks.” He winked again and left.

Nothing to do but wait, then.

He texted her the next day.  _ So about breaking up Sam and Charlotte… _

She laughed at him, but asked him to come by Beanie’s when she was off, because then they could talk and plan.

He was waiting for her outside. “Hey Z.”

“My name’s Zoey.” She shook her head. “Hey Ted.”

“So, what’s your plan?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged and leaned against the wall next to him. “Charlotte deserves better and I’d like it if my boyfriend wasn’t married to someone else.”

“You don’t think Sam deserves better?”

Zoey scoffed. “Sam’s a dick. I don’t know why I put up with him, but I guess I understand why Charlotte does. He doesn’t deserve it though. She’s far too nice.”

“She is.” Ted nodded as he spoke, looking past her. “I’ve been trying to get her to leave him for months, what makes you think this is gonna help?”

“I don’t know. She didn’t know he cheated first. She didn’t know he’s an addict, or how terrible of a cop he is. I told her all of that two weeks ago. Maybe it made a difference.”

“Maybe.” Ted shrugged. “I can try. But I doubt it.”

“I know, I know.” Zoey shrugged. “I’ll talk to her too. And to Sam. I don’t know what will happen, but…”

“I know.” Ted lit a cigarette. “Good luck. Does Sam know she’s cheating?”

“Yeah, he knows. He doesn’t know I’ve talked to her, though, so we’ve got that going for us.” Zoey stopped for a moment. “Did she tell you he’s hit her?”

“No.” Ted had been leaning against the wall, smoking, the picture of indifference, but at that, he sprung up, tense and on his feet. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No you’re not.” Zoey put a hand on his shoulder. “Play the long game, Ted, we’ve both got more on the line. She’ll be fine.”

“Of course she will.” Ted rolled his eyes, still tense, and shook her hand off. “What’s that douchebag got? He’s gotta be good in bed for  _ both _ of you to put up with him.”

“He is, but that’s not it.” Zoey remembered what Charlotte had said. “He’s… He’s wonderful when he wants to be. And he’s just one of those people, who makes you think you can never love anyone else. Sometimes he makes you think  _ he _ can’t either, but that’s obviously not true, so… I don’t know. But I love him, and so does Charlotte, but she loves you too. That’s gotta count for something.”

“Charlotte doesn’t love me.” Ted relaxed a little, but the way the cigarette shook between his fingers betrayed how strung out he still was. “She loves Sam and she’ll never leave him, and it was stupid of me to ever think otherwise.”

“Maybe he’ll leave her, then.” Zoey leaned against the wall again, letting her hand drop from Ted’s shoulder. “We have to try.”

“Sure. What’s your plan?”

“I don’t know. But you should probably leave, Sam is coming to pick me up in a few minutes.”

“Yeah, I probably should then.” Ted finished his cigarette and threw it down. “Text me when you have a better plan.”

“I will. Thanks Ted.”

“Bye Z.” He walked back to his car.

Sam showed up a few minutes later, with another bad pick-up line, and another hand under her skirt. She kissed him and forgot about Charlotte, let him fuck her in the backseat of his squad car instead, because Charlotte was home, though Zoey suspected that Ted was there too. It didn’t matter. What mattered was that Sam asked her to stay, and yeah, looking at the stars through the window while getting high in the backseat of a cop car wasn’t exactly the romantic looking-at-the-stars moment Zoey had imagined for herself as a teenager, but it was also the best she was gonna get from Sam, and he didn’t drive when high, which meant they got to stay out until almost sunrise, sitting together in the car.

She regretted that when Sam dropped her off on campus and she had to attend a lecture while hungover and still high and on no sleep, but she was still grateful for the time she got with Sam in general.


	5. Chapter 5

He picked her up again Wednesday. She spotted him before he had time for a bad line. “Hey Sam.”

“Hey Zoey.” He wrapped both arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. “How was your day?”

“Good.” She turned in his arms to kiss him properly. “How was yours?”

“Alright.” He slid a hand under her skirt. “Charlotte is home, so I don’t have long.”

“You can come back to my place?” He never did; always his place, or the car. “Or we can take the car.” She wanted him to come back to her place.

“What about your roommate?”

“She won’t care. She’s probably not home, and she has a boyfriend too, she can just go see him.” Zoey leaned in, pressing her lips to Sam’s neck. “Please?”

His hand tightened on her thigh. “Why not?” His voice was steady enough, but she was so close to him, she could feel the way his breath hitched every time she kissed him. “Let’s go.”

“Yay!” So maybe that was too much, but Zoey was so past pretending she wasn’t in love with Sam, and she wanted him to come back with her. “Let’s go.”

He didn’t touch her in the car, and while that was probably safer, Zoey hated it. Because sure, he was indulging her and going home with her, but she knew Sam; he wasn’t gonna be much fun like this. Like this, he was going to fuck her and leave before she got to talk.

She was right; they got to her room, they fucked, he got out of bed. “Sam?”

“What?” He was already half dressed.

“Stay.” She held out a hand. “Just for a little bit, I just wanna talk to you.”

“I have to go home, Zoey. To my wife. Remember her? Charlotte?”

“Why not just leave her?”

“What?”

“She’s too nice for you. You don’t deserve her, she’s a nice woman. Do the good thing and leave her.”

“Why?”

Zoey shrugged. “Because she deserves better. Because you fuck me more than her. Because she fucks that other guy more than you. Because you don’t love her.”

“I—”

“Why are you here then?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just get a divorce Sam. Do all of us a favour.”

“Who’s all of us, then?” He sat back down on the edge of her bed.

“Yourself. Me. Charlotte. The guy she’s screwing, presumably. All of us.” Zoey sat up and scooted up behind Sam, kissing his neck again. “Just stay here for a little bit.”

He played at composure, but she recognised his too-steady, too-shallow breath as an attempt not to gasp, recognised the way his back straightened and got stuck.

“Just stay,” she breathed, pressing a kiss to his jawline. “Please stay.”

Sam could move quickly when he wanted to, but Zoey didn’t mind when he used it to get her on her back, hanging over her with a smile. She liked when he smiled.

He didn’t keep smiling, but he didn’t immediately get out of bed when they were done, this time, and she could appreciate that, even if he didn’t stay long.

Months passed, months of Zoey seeing Sam when Charlotte wasn’t home and sometimes when she was, of having coffee with Charlotte every other week or so, of having a smoke with Ted in the parking lot whenever he randomly decided to show up.

Charlotte was far too nice. Zoey wanted to hate her, because she was married to Sam and Sam seemed to love her more than he cared about Zoey, but he cared about himself more than he cared about either of them, which made Charlotte far more relatable than she should be. Ted was easier to hate and easier to like; he was a jerk, but casually, didn’t seem to put much effort into it, and as soon as she got him talking about Charlotte, that vanished. He was very in love with her, even if he wouldn’t admit it — Zoey tried, several times — and it softened him a lot. It was bittersweet to watch, because she still wished Sam would look at her like that, but it helped a little bit that Charlotte looked the same when talking about Ted, with none of the bitterness that came with her talking about Sam.

Months passed, and Zoey kept wondering how she was 20 and caught up in drama with people who had been married for more than half her lifetime, and how she ended up spending more time drinking coffee with Charlotte than either of them did fucking her husband. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Zoey?" Charlotte had been quiet for a while, stirring her coffee, and Zoey had waited for her to speak. "How long has it been?"

"Since what?"

"Since you met Sam."

"I don't know, two years? Something like that." Zoey shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"How did you two meet?"

"Right." Zoey considered lying. Sure, she liked Charlotte, but there were things she didn't need to know. "It was a party. Normally when the cops came knocking, someone would sleep with someone or pay someone off, and it was my turn to deal with them, but Sam was there, he said he'd take it for a favour. I'm used to shitty cops buying sex because their wives won't put out or whatever, so I didn't think too much about it, but he asked if I cared that he was married. And then he asked for my number, and honestly, I was in a pretty bad place, just starting college and broke and using too much, so I figured, might as well. But he's… You know what he's like. And he seemed like he cared, sometimes, or at least he'd try to get me to clean up. Sure, he brought me drugs, but I got out of the scene, I only get high with him now. And I got a job and started taking school seriously. You know what he's like, I guess I fell in love somewhere in there, between cheap sex and drugs."

“Yeah, I know.” Charlotte sighed. Then she offered a tentative smile. “I’m glad you got out of the streets.”

“Me too.” Zoey nodded. “You should leave him, Char. You deserve better.”

“So do you.”

“I don’t know.” Zoey shrugged. “He got me off the streets, that’s pretty damn good. If I leave him I’ll just be back there. Where would you be if not with him?”

“I don’t know…”

“I do.” Zoey smiled when Charlotte looked up. “With Ted. He loves you. You’d be so much happier with him.”

“Why are you saying that? Because then Sam would be yours?”

“Charlotte, do you really think Sam would stay with me?”

“Oh.”

“Oh,” Zoey repeated. She wasn’t smiling anymore. “Maybe he would, I don’t know. But I still think you should leave him.”

“Why?”

“Because you deserve better. And because without you, at least I have a chance. He won’t leave you, don’t think I haven’t asked, I have, all the time. He won’t. And I want him to, of course I do, but you’re too damn nice to hate, and you deserve better. And Ted is right there and he loves you, so why not?”

“I love Sam.” Charlotte sipped her coffee, looking more like she was stalling than drinking. “I don’t want to leave him, I want things to work with him.”

“You’re cheating on him. And you’re having coffee with the girl he’s cheating on you with. It’s not what I’d call a functional marriage.”   
Charlotte actually laughed at that. “How many of your friends are married?”

“Like… Two.” Charlotte was her friend, Zoey decided, and Sam definitely wasn’t, but he counted for the purposes of the question.

“Do I count?”

“Yeah.”

“And the other one has been married for how long?”

“It’s Sam, okay? I know, I know, I’m just a kid to you, but I’m not. I’m a grown woman, Charlotte, and I know I don’t have the kind of picturesque life that you do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know things. My friends aren’t married, but yours isn’t the first husband I’ve slept with, and these people complain about their wives. Sam does too, less now because he knows I’m in love with him, but he doesn’t know how to shut up either. And the moment someone’s sleeping with someone else, it’s because their marriage isn’t working. It just is.” Zoey put her coffee down kind of abruptly; she could hear her own heartbeat. “I don’t know what you and Sam have going on between you, but I talk plenty to both of you, and you’d both be happier walking away. Maybe just accept that, Char.” She stood up. “And Ted would be so happy with you. You should see the way he lights up when he talks about you. He was ready to kill Sam when I said he’d hit you. He’s your best bet, Charlotte, and you deserve to take it. Sam is mine, and I wish I had the chance to. All of us would be happier.”

“I don’t know…”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you later.” She walked out of the Starbucks they were in — Zoey hated them going to Beanie’s — and sure, there were tears in her eyes, but at least she got a text from Ted that he was picking up Charlotte and what the fuck had she said to make her so sad, so she didn’t feel too bad about showing up at Sam’s door and asking to stay the night. She hadn’t quite expected him to let her, but she was happy he did, and falling asleep in his (and Charlotte’s, something in her brain reminded her) bed was a taste of what she hoped for, because Sam snored and was generally annoying to share a bed with, but she got to fall asleep with him and wake up with him, and that was enough, it had to be enough.

Sam picked her up after work that Saturday and found a place to park. He didn’t really look at her, didn’t touch her, didn’t say anything.

“Sam?” Zoey asked when they’d been sitting in the car for a minute with nothing happening. “Is something wrong?”

“Charlotte’s taking us to counselling.”

“Oh.” Zoey remembered Charlotte talking about it, but she couldn’t very well say that to Sam. So she didn’t. “Do you want it to work?”

“I don’t know.” He still didn’t look at her. “I love Charlotte, I do.”

“But?”

“But fixing things with her means that this is the last time.”

Zoey felt like someone had punched her in the chest. He was right, of course he was, she knew that, but she hadn’t expected it so casually. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked over at her now, and to her surprise, he almost sounded genuine. “I know this means something to you.”

“It does.” Zoey nodded slowly. “Sam, I’m not gonna pretend like I’m not in love with you, because I think we’ve established that I am, but I’m also not gonna stop you. Go back to your wife, whatever. If you think you’ll be happier, fine.” Zoey had always thought she was bad at realising when she should stop talking; in that moment, she realised that she should stop talking, but didn’t. “You should consider not hitting her.”

“What?”

“Charlotte. You’ve hit her. You know, I didn’t think you could be violent, not like that, but it shouldn’t surprise me. I mean, you steal from your job, you’re cheating on your wife, you’re knowingly giving drugs and alcohol to a minor — or hey, did you forget I’m only 20? — so really, you being a wife beater just tracks at this point.” She was still staring at her.

“Zoey.” There was a warning in his voice. “Don’t.”

“Or what, you’ll hit me too? I’ll report you, I don’t care. I’m not Charlotte, I love you, but I’m not  _ scared  _ of you.” She looked away, out the window. “Fuck me or take me home, Sam.”

“I was gonna take you out.” Sam’s voice had softened. “Have a proper dinner and goodbye.”

Zoey wanted to be mad at him, she did. But she also wanted two hours of pretending. “That sounds good.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

“Whatever.” Sam started the car. “Not to make a habit of it. Charlotte told me to do this.”

“Oh.” Zoey laughed a little. “Well tell her thanks from me.”

“I won’t.”

“I know.” And Zoey could tell her herself, and did; just a quick text. Then she texted Ted and asked him to come by the next day.

Dinner with Sam was nice. Sure, it was a shitty diner at the outskirts of town, and it didn’t quite feel like a date because he refused to even hold her hand, and he refused to talk about anything serious, instead asking her about school and shows and oh, had she heard that  _ Mamma Mia! _ would be coming to the Starlight soon? She wanted a date, but this was the best she was gonna get, and she knew it.

He drove her home and didn’t go in with her, but he did kiss her goodbye and apologised. She told him not to be a stranger, and hoped things would still suck between him and Charlotte enough that he’d come back.

She wasn’t sure if she deserved him coming back, but she hoped. Then she went and dug out what cash she had lying around and called one of her old friends for a hit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ted is valid

Ted showed up at the end of her shift the next day. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah, have you talked to Charlotte?” Zoey went to stand next to him, leaned against his car in the parking lot.

“About?”

“She’s making Sam go to counselling.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Ted lit a cigarette. “Looks like we’re both single again.”

“Looks like it.” Zoey sighed. “You think it’s gonna last?”

“I don’t know.” Ted handed her the cigarette he’d just lit. “I hope not.”

“Me too.” She took the cigarette. “But I don’t have high hopes.”

“Why not?”   
“Because Sam wants it to work. And he gets what he wants.”

“Sure. But what if he wants you too?” Ted lit another cigarette.

Zoey scoffed. “He doesn’t. Not enough. He loves her.”

“He’ll make it work.” Ted gestured to the car. “You need a ride?”

“Sure.” Zoey finished the cigarette and threw it down. “I also need to get really fucking high, but I’m too poor for that.”

Ted laughed and opened the passenger side door for her. He was still smoking. “Well, aren’t we all?” He closed the door behind her and walked around the car to get it. “You know where to get anything?”

“Sure, what do you want?” She could overcharge him, Ted looked like an office worker who’d never tried anything harder than weed, he wouldn’t know the difference.

“Enough to make me forget about Charlotte.” He started the car. “Where are we going?”

“To get a fix, apparently.” Zoey gave him an address. “Also you owe me.”

“I’m paying for your fix, aren’t I?”

“Are you?”

“Yes.” Ted drove recklessly, but Zoey wasn’t in the mood to mind. “We’re both in a bad mood, might as well feel sorry for each other as well as ourselves.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

Ted didn’t reply, just pulled up in front of the building Zoey pointed out. She asked him to stay in the car, so he handed her some cash — she didn’t bother counting it, if she had to pad it from her tips, she’d get it out of him later — and stayed where he was. He’d given her plenty, so she stashed the change in her wallet and went back out to the car.

“Here.” She handed him one of the bags.

“Don’t get high while driving.”

“I wasn’t gonna.” He looked over at her. “Do you want a ride home or do you wanna continue feeling sorry for each other and come back to mine?”

She laughed. “Sure.” She didn’t particularly like Ted, but he was better than being alone, and she didn’t like getting high by herself anyway.

Ted’s apartment was much what she’d imagined; a lot nicer than anything she or her friends could afford, cleaner and with more furniture, and a proper coffee machine. He made coffee, and it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad.

“So.” He handed her a mug and gestured to the couch. “Do you have a plan? Because I sure don’t.”

“I don’t know, get high?” She put the coffee down, untouched. “Probably complain a little bit. Have sex, if you’re up for that.”

Ted nearly choked on his coffee, or at least he sputtered a little bit. “You’re a kid.”

“Never bothered Sam. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Zoey shrugged. “But whatever.”

“Honestly, doing drugs with a college kid is as low as I’m gonna sink today, I’m not gonna fuck her too.”

“I said whatever.” Zoey raised an eyebrow.

“You do you, I’m gonna take my pills now.”

“Yeah, okay.” Ted sat down next to her.

Zoey took two of the pills from her bag and downed them with some coffee. “Did you ever manage to get Charlotte to consider leaving Sam?”

“No.” Ted took his own pills and leaned back on the couch. “She just kept saying she loves him.”

“Yeah, that’s what she kept telling me as well.”

“What did Sam say?”

“That he loves her.” Zoey scoffed. “I doubt it. I don’t think he loves anyone but himself, and even that is questionable.”

“You love him?”

“Oh sure.” Zoey waved a hand, wishing for her high to kick in. “Not that he deserves it.”

“I sometimes think Charlotte doesn’t deserve me loving her either.”

“She does.” Zoey sat up properly to look at him. “She does. It’s not her fault that Sam is both charming and manipulative. I wish I could say I’d leave him for you, if I was her, but I don’t think I would.”

“Why is he like this?”

“I don’t know.” Zoey took a few deep breaths, trying to focus on the haziness on the edges of her mind, threatening to overtake her. “He’s just… You genuinely think he loves you. Even when you know he doesn’t. And with him, no one else could compare. I think it’s worse for her because he  _ wants  _ to keep her, I mean, if I walk out he’ll find some other kid to get high with and fuck, probably, and even then… I couldn’t leave him, and not just because of the drugs. I’m an addict and Sam  _ Fucking _ Harrison is worse than emma.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Of course I don’t.” She rolled her eyes, leaning back in her seat, the high finally kicking in. “Of course not. But at least this shit seems to make me feel something that isn’t shit.”

“So you feel shit with Sam, but you keep coming back?”

Zoey took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “No, I feel awesome with Sam,” she admitted after a pause.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Ted was staring at the wall in front of him when Zoey glanced at him. “I love Charlotte, but I never feel worse than when she leaves.”

“Yeah.”

“She should just stay with him, I don’t know what she sees in that scumbag. What’s he got that I don’t?”

“Time, probably. I think that’s what she’s got on me, too. They’ve been married for fifteen years, Ted, and I’m only 20. I was fucking five years old when they got married. You’ve been seeing Charlotte for what, seven months? They’ve known each other for as long as I’ve been alive.”

“That’s insane.”

“Yeah.”

“What does he see in you? No offense, but you’re too young for  _ me _ and I’m younger than Sam by like… Five years.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, Ted. Someone willing to indulge his habit? I don’t know, but I wish it was something more.”

“That makes sense.” Ted yawned. “Holy fuck this is knocking me out.”

“Sleep then.”

He looked over at her. “You can crash on the couch if you want.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight.”

Zoey stayed seated on Ted’s couch for a while, then walked home, desperately trying to keep her wits about her enough to make it to bed. She got home safe, but she’d had to stop at a diner on the way to get a cup of coffee and get her shit together. She didn’t cry, or at least she didn’t think she did, but she woke up with salt streaks on her cheeks the next morning, and a handful of texts from Ted asking if she was okay.


	8. Chapter 8

It took two days after that for Sam to show up at Beanie’s after her shift. “Hey Zoey.”

“Hi Sam.” She smiled at him. “What’s up?”

“I don’t wanna go home tonight.” He wrapped his arms around her from behind, his lips brushing her neck. “Come with me.”

“Where?” She didn’t turn and tried not to react, but she felt breathless in the best possible way.

“Anywhere.”

“What about Charlotte?”

“I missed you too much.” His teeth grazed her skin, and Zoey wasn’t composed enough to even try to suppress a gasp. “Come with me.”

“Sure.” She turned around in his arm to pull him in for a proper kiss. “Anywhere.”

And maybe, Zoey thought, she should say no. Maybe she should remind him of what he’d promised his wife. Maybe she should ask him what it meant that he was back. But she’d never been good at thinking with his tongue between her teeth, and she didn’t want to think about any of that; she wanted to think about the way Sam’s voice said her name when he pulled away long enough to catch his breath.

Zoey felt bad the next morning, when she woke up in Sam’s car, laying on top of him in the back seat. Not bad enough to not let him fuck her again when he woke up, but bad enough to text Charlotte and ask if she had time in the afternoon after Sam had dropped her off at campus before he went to work.

They met up at Starbucks after they were both off. Charlotte smiled and spotted Zoey’s coffee, which only made Zoey feel worse about the whole thing.

“So,” Charlotte said once they were seated. “What did you wanna talk about?”

“Oh, uhh…” Zoey looked at the table. “Sam came to see me after work last night.”

“So that’s why he didn’t come home.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s… It’s not your fault.” Charlotte sounded slightly choked up. “Zoey, please look at me.”

Zoey looked up. There were tears in Charlotte’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I wanted to—”

“No no, it’s not your fault.” Charlotte smiled. “Just… Next time, don’t tell me, okay? I prefer to just not know.”

“Sure.” Zoey smiled. “Sorry, I just… I felt bad about it, I guess.”

“It’s alright.” Charlotte stood up kind of abruptly, her coffee untouched. “I’m going home. I’ll… See you around. If you see Sam, just— Nevermind.”

“Bye, Char.” Zoey didn’t try to stop her.

Charlotte left, and Zoey stayed in her seat. Then she called Ted. “Yo dude, I need a favour.”

“What?”

“Check in on Charlotte.”

“Okay, I can do that, why?”

“I hooked up with Sam last night and just told her, she’s in a bad place.” Zoey sighed. “I think I’m the last person she wants to see, except perhaps Sam, so you know.”

“Yeah, no worries.” Ted usually hung up kind of abruptly, but he stayed on the line, so Zoey waited for what he had to say. “Are you okay?”

“Great.”

“Okay, cool.” He hung up, then.

Zoey stayed in Starbucks until her coffee was empty. Then she grabbed Charlotte’s and drank that too, even though it was too sweet for her taste. She got a text from Ted saying thanks, so she guessed he’d hooked up with Charlotte or at least somehow gotten something out of her. She pretended like she was happy for him and didn’t text Sam.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter!

Sam came to see her almost every day, either at Beanie’s or on campus. She wanted to be mad at him, but instead, it was nice. Because it was the most attention she’d ever gotten from him. Because he was never high when they met, even if he still got high with her. Because he promised her that he didn’t care if Charlotte found out, so they’d be out places, and he’d act like they were together, kissing her. Because she felt like maybe, just maybe, he actually gave a shit.

Sam liked musicals. It was something Zoey knew and found kind of funny, but also kind of attractive. He’d watch every musical that came on stage at the Starlight, but he’d also usually come see her productions at university and at the rec center. So when she got an email from the head of department that theatre students had early access to tickets to  _ Mamma Mia!  _ because of some dumb promotional thing, she stayed up to get two.

The storm was awful, but she still refused a ride with Emma, because she’d heard from Sam, and he was going to pick her up, and it was still an hour before the show started and she had tickets and she wanted to give them to Sam.

He snuck up behind her. “Excuse me, ma’am, but I’ve got a warrant to inspect the junk in your trunk.”

“Oh Sam, you’re such a fucking asshole.” Zoey rolled her eyes; it felt almost like a script at this point, especially when she wanted to flatter him. “But that uniform is so fucking sexy, oh my god.” She went to kiss him, quickly, then pulled away. “Hey, I have a little present for you.” She pulled the tickets out of her back pocket. “These two tickets for  _ Mamma Mia! _ ”   
“No, way, you got them?” Sam grabbed the tickets from her, smiling. “I never miss a musical at the Starlight, and if anyone thinks that makes me less of a man, they can talk to my fucking gun!” He pulled it out.

Zoey laughed and kissed him but pulled back too quickly again. “Are you high?”   
“High as a kite, baby.” He pulled her close. “Come on, we’ve got an hour until the show.”

“Okay, but I’m driving then.” She took his keys from his pocket. “Come on.”   
“No, Zoey, wait, let’s not go yet.”   
“It’s easier to park at the Starlight than here.” She smiled at him; she was in an oddly good mood, and Sam seemed to be  _ into _ her in a way he usually wasn’t.

She drove them to the Starlight, parking in the far corner of the lot. Sam crawled into the backseat and pulled her over immediately, and the show was still another 45 minutes off, so Zoey let him.

She was just beginning to consider moving and getting herself looking presentable before heading inside when the meteor hit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm... Sorry


End file.
